Complete ENGL 99 Course

Reading Essay #3 is complete.

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Annie Dillard's "Seeing" is a fragment of her book "Pilgrim at Tinker Creek". There weren't that fragment in my book, I think it was in the college handbook which I didn't find in the open access. So, I've found the whole book on the Internet. Although I haven't got any tasks to it, I still managed to get a great essay with the next tasks of mine:

1. Write about Annie's experience of 'seeing'. Did she feel the same when she was a child?
2. What is the philosophy of 'seeing'? Is it positive to take over the practice Annie describes to 'see' something other's eyes?
3. Annie seems to be 'the man of present'. How is it correlating with other philosophical systems of 'seeing' and 'knowing'?
4. What do you think about Annie's expression 'you see nothing except your predicted template in your mind'? Did you ever try to see things with other perspective than usual? What could you say about people who were forced to 'see' (like literally in Dillard's text, the blind from birth who were cured) or comprehend their world in entirely new colors?
5. There are many examples of the people blind from birth who gained sight. What do you think of the success of their therapy? Could something help them to apply their sight to their value system?

I hope my questions aren't worse than they were in the college handbook or in my ENGL 99 book of essays (well, I can't access to the exact handbook of the college where I took my program from). But it's my training, I think it's OK.

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Seeing

"I know that I know nothing", Socrates said. I think that's the main overall idea of A.Dillard's "Seeing".

"Seeing", according to Annie, is perception all the details that create the present. Mrs.Dillard describes the process when she's been a child. Small miracles of nature on Tinker Creek made young Annie sway around. But to see all of them you need to see them. And every time you see something, you are curious about those infinity of small miracles around you (no matter you're an adult or a child). You understand that the universe is much wider than you've probably thought, and there are much more happening around you, but you only lure around in the darkness instead of seeing...

I guess that the experience of perception written in her book are filtered with Annie's adult perception. It's very detailed, even makes some readers suffer (or, maybe, I've just melted my brain reading English news and listening BBC Radio pop songs, and that's why I consider Annie's text difficult?..) But I'm convinced that there are always different experiences in different seeing. When you're a child, you believe that the world much wider that when you're an adult. As an adult, you've already made yourself boundaries when you think you can hold your life 'on truck'. And even if you try to describe some experience from your childhood, you'll almost obviously use your adult patterns of describing and seeing the same experience.

The Dillard's philosophy of 'seeing' is just rewritten Socrates' idea. If you discover something curious, you might ask new questions based on what you've knowing just now. When finding the answers, you understand that there are more questions that need to be answered, etc. The point of view could enhance infinitely, and this process just can't stop if you see and think freely.

I see also the opportunity of this philosophy of thinking. We can think and consider about something using our patterns of thinking (like patterns of 'seeing' which Dillard described). And we will think over things that we can think because of our patterns. The real truth is very difficult, and one man can't understand the whole truth. He can hold and apply just the part of it, according to his patterns.

Applying all existing patterns in your mind, or destroying all patterns you have to 'just see the present' leads to madness, as Annie writes. I agree with that. Patterns is our tools of understanding what we see. As Annie describes, 'darkness appalls, but the light blazes' - you might turn into 'fixed mindset' man when you deny the world around you, but you'll be overwhelmed by its beauty if you get rid of all your 'habitual' points of view. So, my idea is the idea of balance: you need to use your patterns of perception as a tool, but not loose curiosity and ability to enjoy because of them.

I think, that idea finds the approval in the Annie's examples of people who was blind from birth but gained the sight. Those people's patterns of perception were linked with tonguing, nosing, feeling and hearing, and were not linked with the sight. Man gains the tool, but can't use it: new experience from the sight is overwhelming and frustrating, but he can't handle it with habitual patterns. Someone trying to adopt, when someone give up and start to live an old way.

It could probably be a solution in helping people like this to set up new 'sight patterns' to the new sense. It's very curious how people with the same diseases looks at the world. When I think about recent-blind people I imagine the painter who could create arts of the world which is fully unknown to us, 'seeing' people. To be honest, it's gonna be amazing.

The more important meaning of 'gaining sight' I see in alignment area. People have different values in their lives. What happens when you start seeing world with the new side? How it influences to your values and to your life? It's fascinating, especially if you try to discover the real truth around you. You begin to change, so does your values and your lifestyle. It's very important to not do it uncontrollably, switching 'from appalling darkness to blazing light'. There's no fulfillment and no happiness if you'll become overwhelmed being tied before. That's the idea of gaining the truth by religious searches, and by talking with the God particularly in Christianity; in Orthodox, God doesn't want to hurt us with His presence, and we can't see Him in this life. We can see His truth only, in that size we can understand it.

What is 'seeing'? Is it simply discovering the truth concealed behind our stereotypes and behavioral patterns? Or the perception process that depends on our eyes only? I think it's very useful to think about it. The most important idea here for me is the subjectivity of seeing process and the necessity of boundaries in our mind.

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Also, Dillard's book is VERY difficult to read because of the nature-describing style. (at page 6 of 16, I was already dying of so many describes, spending around a half an hour in trying to prevail JUST ONE PAGE! :) ) Nevertheless, the "Seeing" fragment contained many words I haven't know until reading. The book gave me great vocabulary additions:

• Chipped off - when you tear the one rock into some small, it becomes chipped off.
• A sycamore - a plant named "Платан" in Russian.
• To lurk about - to walk around something, like in the streets, without any specific goal.
• The rueful way - your way becomes rueful when you're temporarily said and/or permanently grumpy.
• A muskrat - an animal named "Ондатра" in Russian.
• A muskrat kit - muskrats have a kit inside theirs dens. It contains leaves, branches and fur, I think, and it helps muskrats to make their den comfortable and softy.
• To pick out something is to see the needle in the haystack.
• A sedge - a plant named "Камыш" in Russian.
• Flowers are appearing from buds. Plants are growing up from sprouts.
• Drops of seawater are something you can find and collect on the shore, like shells or sea glass.
• An oriole is a bird named "Иволга" in Russian.
• A nonchalance is a carelessness.
• An osage orange - a tree named "маклюра, китайский апельсин, адамово яблоко, красная шелковица, лжеапельсин" in Russian.
• A shale - "Сланец".
• To squint - щуриться.
• A cattail - "Рогоз".
• A lilac - a plant named "Сирень" in Russian.
• A willow - a tree named "Ива" in Russian.
• A cleft - расщелина.
• To dazzle ~ to blind, to appall ~ to scare.
• A crayfish - рак (as an animal, a disease = cancer)
• A loblolly pine - сосна ладанная.
• Exhilaratingly - with great joy
• A petal, a lobe - a flower has them. Some flowers have 5 petals, sunflowers have ~400.
• A wineskin - there you might carry water or wine during on-foot journey.
• To lope off - to run easily with long steps.
• A killdeer - крикливый зуёк

Essay #1* is partially complete**

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My Inspiration

What is inspiration for me? It’s a tool, and a feeling. We can use the tool to complete our plans moving to success. Sometimes, we can adore the feeling to gain a motivation, and a good mood as well. Different people could use different approaches to inspiration and the combined one as well. However, everyone needs to be inspired, because it makes the life colorful some way. Speaking of approaches, I prefer the first one to my definition of inspiration. I chose the way of my education myself, and I am a source of inspiration to myself.

What could I say about myself to you? I’m the responsible person who decides, chooses, and acts. My choice is rather rational than based on motivation and feelings. I’m honest and brave in my decisions. I’m always concerned about the consequences of my decisions and deeds, and try to think first before acting. I’m not afraid to confess I failed when I really failed, and always try to get a lesson from my defeat. The results of ‘self-inspiration', though, vary. I know how to inspire myself to the better result. However, there are obstacles when I don’t know what to do and hope someone will help. So, sometimes I fall into despair and don’t do anything, getting no results.

What’s my secret? I don’t consider my inspiration as a ‘secret’. I have an overall image of what I need to do next time, and what I want at all, and I have the plan of achieving all of my aims.

Imagine how inspiring to understand that you can reach everything in your life! How inspiring is the fact that in most cases you clearly see what you should do to get you closer to your success! As the result, the definition of what you want, and your plan become before the motivation and special ‘inspirational’ feelings that come later. Feelings can be the catalyst sometimes, but they are the result of right deeds much more often.

Sometimes I think about other sources of inspiration. Could it be other people? I must admit I’ve almost never saw the good example of other’s people success that I wanted to follow. Each person has his own path to his desires. That’s why I’m not going to follow someone’s path, and finally interested rather in my own path than someone’s. However, I believe in allies, and the experience of other people can help you very much, especially if you reconsider this experience to apply it in your own goals.

I like the idea of self-building and self-motivating, because it gets the result. That’s the real reason that I chose the ‘tool’ concept rather the ‘feeling’ one of my understanding of inspiration. The result could be ‘sabotaged’ by myself, while I’m not the ‘perfect man’ and have the right to be mistaken. However, I’m very pleased by the quality of inspiration results if they were built by myself. In addition, I see many opportunities to evolve and grow up my inspiration by other people’s experience, as well as closing up temporary lacks of self-motivation with other people’s help.

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* Essays are public works and I'm gonna train to do them with standard rules. I'll post the content and the screenshots of the real work and formatting I've done.

** 'partially' means that it can be updated within next week exercises. Also, the MLA standard required to all public works like this will be applied next time. Essays are usually tasks that requires some weeks to complete in this course, so even the content might be reworked. I haven't decide yet will I write the new post for an update, or update this one.

Writing Prompt #2

How to define inspiration?

Inspiration is just the word. The result and the process matters.

What is the process of inspiration? The desire is the catalyst of the process, I think. You must desire to achieve something to be inspired by someone.

The main actor of inspiration is you, I think. Only you can decide what you should do with your desires. You always could be oriented on someone's success, or to someone's ladder to success, doesn't matter. But only you take a final decision.

The process of doing something is always tough. You could be tempted to stop it, delay the success, or sabotage your own result. You may lose faith in what you're doing. Inspiration is the tool which helps you prevail your debts and do what you were planned to do.

Also, the inspiration is a pleasant feeling. You might be guided by this feeling through difficulties to your success. That's the another path of how motivation works, I think.

The result depends completely on you. It could be inspiring for yourself, or even to someone who is inspired by your own path! Or, it could be desperate. You have the right to fail, by your choice and against. The inspiration helps you to get the best result you're able to get, or getting off your knees and continue to fight when you suddenly have failed.

Reading #2 is done!

Aria: Memoir of Bilingual Childhood

Rodriguez's idea covers both possibility and perspective of the bilingual education solution. Both approaches, unified and bilingual ones, are living now in the U.S. But does bilingual education really help bilingual and immigrant people to find (or not lose) themselves?

Rodriguez analyses his past as Spanish child who saw American people around as strangers, "gringo". As a child in Mexican immigrant family with Spanish as a native language, Rodriguez didn't want to change. The family environment, and the language as well, gave him the feeling of security and stability.

But Rodriguez insist that those feelings couldn't be forever. It's not because American reality is rough for everyone who don't felt himself obligate to speak English. It's because childhood always ends, and every adult is the only real source for his/her internal stability and security. When you're a kid, doesn't matter actually you speak native language or the foreign one; but then, you begin to choose your path of life and get it fit with your desires. So, Rodriguez concluded that his Spanish (Mexican?) past must have been died with an age, and the "public English" would inevitable become the "private" one.

Does the bilingual education really help bilinguals to get themselves in truck in their lives? Providing Rodriguez's argument, it could only delay the moment of accepting national language. This process can't be stopped or reversed "back to childhood". A Spanish-spoken immigrant has a choice, to live with his "public English" or be able to speak only with the "private one".

I agree with Rodriguez's opinion about bilingual education. Even more, I have the likely situation. I'm not a child, but I'm going to immigrate in the U.S. And I learn English as an international language to reach all my aims in my life. And, I have the Russian past, when I was fulfilled with my Russian and didn't want anything I want now. Even now, I feel how my Russian degrades, replacing with English words, definitions, and syntax constructions. I think it's OK: I should go further than my young Russian limit was. The

In recent American history, bilingualism was the problem that must have been resolved. Some people who believed in cultural identity proposed the education in native languages for bilingual people. But the result, as Rodriguez said, weren't good. If we delay the progress, we can't handle the future. So, even the experiment with education in "black English" pulled off in 70s wasn't help any of black student to get the better life. What should we say about Indians, Russians, Mexicans who live in America and believe that their children "should speak in father's language"?

Also, there's the same experience in 80s Germany. People from Turkey wanted to learn their children in Turkish. Well, after the school most Turkish people went learn German or English to get a good job, and did that without any habit and with dividing German and Turkish to the "public language" and the "private one".

The bilingual education have the negative result for people. It can't actually hurt the socialization and naturalization of immigrants. But, it can't make the learners happier. That's the main argument of pro-bilingual people which doesn't work in real life: "to get people happier, you should let them speak in their native language".

Reading #1 is done!

Mother Tongue: the Problem of Immigrant's English

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I've read awesome essays from writer Amy Tan and Richard Rodriguez. I must admit that I'm so curious about being such good materials in standard(!) college(!!!) programs! And, I have to say that even in high school, and in the university as well, I NEVER got such area of discourse like now!

I highly recommend you to reat that essays, even in translation. I think, the deep of text and questions to it. I accorded the Reading #1 post to the first one, Amy Tan's "Mother Tongue".

Amy's mother felt guilty on her incapacity to speak English like native speakers do. I agree that it limits our possibilities. But is it abnormal at all? How exactly this may influence a child born in America and taken

And the main question is: what should one do with this issue, and should one? Does bilingual education really helps parents and children to adapt in the American society?

Amy Tan thinks that the experience of many Englishes in child's life gives one the wide experience. People can and must be different. If Amy's mother isn't good speaker it doesn't make her the bad woman.

Someone, including Amy herself, considered Amy's mother's language "broken" - indeed, it would make people think that something's wrong and need to be "repaired"... That's the rational look on the problem, which considers only "not knowing English" as the only result.

There was also an emotional aspect. Amy Tan heard her mother's English since her birth. And she understand her mother from the first letters! There was no need to change the style, because the "broken" one consisted the exact feeling mom tried to express to!

And looking to myself, I would like to say there is a third aspect of native language itself. Everyone claimed the language of Amy's mother as "broken", but didn't care about how smart at Chinese she is! The same applies to me: if someone read or hear my English, nobody still know that I'm VERY smart at Russian and Belarussian as TWO native languages of mine!

How that could influence Amy as a bilingual child of immigrants? I see the positive experience in Amy's text. I do not think something is wrong because you encountered not just "loud and clear" Oxford speech! Being in line with many people, you can learn many accents, "dialects", and special pronunciations in different speeches. You don't need to be only boring "Oxford nerd" with your "perfect accent", and not understand other people who use dialects or accents!

The negative experience of Amy's initial language isn't linked with bilingual environment, as I understood. The problem wasn't in low grades in English subjects in school, but in grades themselves! Finding your own style is something you obligate to do to succeed. Some teachers, as I see, don't agree with something "non-academic", and lower your grade.

As I saw in "Mother Tongue", many people tried to convince Amy to develop her math skills and give up on her "Chinese" dialect, initially. But Amy Tan became famous writer despite.

And here's the answer to the problem of "bilingual" children adaptation. Only the choice matters.

Stepping aside, "dialect" problem doesn't make one worse than another. American and Britain Englishes at their academic form are different, as Australian and African as well! Where is the "ideal"?

I've also heard the same issue about Kansas or, let's say, Ohio people; they may use "dialect" comparing to the academic American, but that doesn't mean their English is bad. I can't understand why someone's speech might be called as "dialect" if many immigrants in America speak with their own, unique, manner! :)

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It doesn't mean that nobody should attempt to reach the good pronunciation and ease in using English. I plan to reach excellence in my speaking and writing skills, considering my shining future in the USA. But that work considers building your own future, with different roles in English.

I'm trying to rebuild myself to create new American mentality of mine instead of the Belarussian one! It is the path I've chosen. No one is supposed to do the similar, because the immigration can't be passed similar ways.

Writing Prompt #1 is done.

Who inspired you to go to university?

I was inspired to go to the university by my parents, predictively.

In my 17th, I never thought about my future. I was only interesting in computer games and chasing after girls, and never planned what would I supposed to do next.

In Belarus, 17-years-old males have only two opportunities when graduating school. The first one is getting Bachelor degree in university or getting college education in college. It is practically the same, because of entire Belarussian education quality. The second is serving in the army.

So, I didn’t want to go to the army even in that time, because I’ve never wanted to be a slave and never loved my “homeland” to serve it. The university would be the best option from two.

Did I want to be a programmer? No. As I said before, I’ve never thought about my future before the admission time. So, I didn’t have my own choice when my parents offered me BSUIR.

Mom wished me to be someone with big wallet and with a high-paid work, but I didn’t care about it. She tried to inspire me to study somewhere and pass the exams well, and I understood that only on the 3rd grade.

This story makes me think about my current situation. Now, I control my life, in both financial and decisive aspects. That’s why my M.Sc admission was inspired by me, not someone else.