7 September 2018, 08:56
Learning From Your Mistakes
Yes, our mistakes aren't pleasant deed of ours. We always suffer from them and feel a rush of panic when we fail something. There's unpleasant, but good opportunity to learn something from it.
What is the mistake? Is it truly equal to failure?
The answer is 'no'. A failure is the result of a wrong action, while the mistake is this wrong action ifself! So, failures are related to consequences of what you did, and mistakes are related to reasons you did it and to the exact way you did it.
Does it make any difference? By this difference, you can apply different approaches to learn from mistakes and failures and to handle them as well!
-----------
Here are 5 steps to help you to have a lesson from your mistakes:
- The most difficult beginning is admitting your mistake/failure. If you confessed that YOU did it, you automatically gain an opportunity for fixing and/or preventing it in the future.
There's a common problem here which is called 'the blame game'. Most people don't like admitting their mistakes, and they use more comfortable way of hiding the mistake/failure or blaming someone else for it. People who were blamed blame the blamers :))) in the process of the game, and that's carrying on recursively until the end :) The 'loser' in this 'game' - a person who has given up on blaming the opponent - should confess (even when he didn't make that mistake) and fix that instead of letting the right person do something to handle. - The way you react to your mistakes is the other important point here. So, you should improve it to get your lesson from your mistake. Do you usually reflex reactively - blame only the external factors and think your mistake is your 'doom deed' for what you'll be fired and burn in the Hell? :) However, you can just react proactively, with your 'growth' mindset, and think about a way you can change your approach on your activities to not repeat this.
- Analyzing your mistakes is the next step of handling or not repeating them. What reasons caused your mistake? Why your way you were doing something caused the wrong consequences? Are there external factors which you couldn't handle with?
The important thing here is the role of factors of your mistake/failure. Yes, sometimes there's something you just can't handle with - ex. your boss was wrong. You're not responsible for what other people do. But changing the factors you're responsible for is the great way for you to not repeat your mistake. - Putting the lessons you've got into a practice is your way to change. If you've analyzed your mistake carefully, you may have noticed you have many issues in your work and/or behavior patterns. And, you may have a temptation to make a 'quick fix' for them - DON'T DO IT! 'Quick-fixing' something now may cause you to make much more bigger failures in the future, when your 'small' issues stay unresolved and become 'big' as the result!
If you need to fix the mistake/failure you've done, that's the right time to show the way you change! If someone blames you and even punishes you (it might be your boss), he probably needs to get some guarantees you won't repeat your mistake. So, you can involve him and someone else (ex. your colleagues) to help you to fix that as fast as possible, and help them to understand your 'new' way of working! (your boss can also review your 'new way' and help you by giving his feedback!). - Reviewing your progress might be your personal feedback. Do you apply your new approach correctly? Are there any opportunities to make it better? Do people think you still make mistakes? Why?.. :)
Some cultures, like Belarussian or Russian ones, just don't let mistakes/failures to exist, by 'blame game' and immediate severe punishment for every error in your life. So, people see the link between their mistake and their punishment, and they believe it can't be broken, from the birth (parents) to death (bosses, spouses, state, police etc.). That's why hiding mistakes or blaming others is common in our countries, and admitting mistakes with changing your way to do something you're mistaken in is a pretty rare event in our life!
And that's why the first thing you need to change in you while naturalizing in mistakes-friendly culture (ex. the American one) is letting your mistakes be the part of your life and your opportunity to learn something useful from it.
---------------------------
Vocabulary (you may add your explanations and other words of this posts!)
- carry on = continue (not carry-on! That's bags which you have while travelling :) )
- foster, ~encourage, ~favor - promoting someone to better results
- to pinpoint, ~to sharpen, ~to emphasize - to show someone something with the detail point of view.
- to feel a rush of panic - when you've been mistaken or failed, you begin to think you're doomed, and you may do some stupid things trying to fix quickly what you did :)
Джон Сноу, I think you need just a bit more attention to avoid simple mistakes. Like "here ARE 5 steps", "you're NOT responsible for what other people do", "he probably needS to get some guarantees", etc.
I'm not sure about this construction:"you've mistaken". Could you explain, please? It seems to me that it should be "you've been mistaken".
One_more_time, thank you for your feedback!
Accuracy... is my issue. It's not what I'm strong at yet :) But I try to get it done. As you see, I still miss something , especially when my mind has already got other ideas/words/sentences... Maybe I need to focus my mind on the grammar, not just on sharing my ideas.
What do you mean under 'etc.'? Have you spotted any more mistakes? Please share them if so, I would appreciate this! :)
"You've" => "you have BEEN". Yes, it's a mistake, thank you.
One_more_time, I have remembered the case when "you've mistaken" is a TYPO, not a mistake => "you'Re mistaken". It's when someone tells you that you're wrong. 'Mistaken' is the past participle adjective. When you use it to show an action, you need to use it with the verb 'be', as 'to be late': "I've been mistaken - I've been late ... "
Джон Сноу, thanks for an interesting and useful post. If you do not mind, I can add interesting expressions to your vocabulary.
Vocabulary:
1) the elephant in the room - a problem or question that everyone knows about but does not mention because it is easier not to discuss it
2) turn a blind eye (to something) - to pretend not to notice something bad that is happening, so you do not have to do anything about it
3) cross that bridge when you come to it - to worry about a problem when it actually happens and not before
4) failure to do something - an act of not doing something which should be done or which people expect you to do
Okay, there's one more "I've mistaken" near the end, and I think there should be an article in that sentence. "... you've mistaken in is A pretty rare event".
"Do people think you're still have mistakes?" I think it should be "you still make mistakes", there's no need for "are" and people don't usually say that they have mistakes.
When you were talking about the "blame game", you wrote the loser should confess. Maybe it would be better to say he has to confess. Other people make him do it, he feels like he has no other choice. "He should" sounds like you're giving advice to confess. Clearly, it wasn't your intention, you were just describing the game.
Small issues stay undone – here goes "unresolved".
One more thing is not about English, it's about the structure. You said you can help with five steps. #2 doesn't sound like a step. The first sentence sounds more abstract, there's no action in it. And #3 says it's the first step. It kind of throws a reader off.
One_more_time, your feedback is getting more and more awesome, thank you! :)
1. This 'I've mistaken' is exactly a typo which we discussed last Friday => 'you're mistaken'. About A... you made me think twice, and I think that we need an A there.
2. 'Still make mistakes' => yes, you're right :)
3 According to 'having to confess'. I think there's another solution of this situation - just denying to work with it and denying 'your' mistake even if you are the person who made a mistake. And usually, there's no 'game master' who has to prohibit you violate the 'rules' like denying you've made a mistake. Even your boss actually can't forbid you to say 'I'm not the guy who failed it!'. That's why you don't 'have to' confess, but you actually 'should' - according to the rules of the 'blame game' - confess your fault even if it's not yours. You ALWAYS can violate the rules, particularly by denying them :)
4. Well, 'unresolved' is much more fit to the original idea of my sentence, thank you. But... Can issues stay 'undone' at all?
5. About step #2. I guess you're right, and I reformed this idea to make it look better. Step #3... well, I replace 'the first' with 'the next' expression. Honestly, there was an idea from Russian language when you can describe 'topics under topics'. You're right, it really confuses English readers.
And thank you for your 'throwing a reader off' idiom! :)
P.S. In your last comment, '#2 doesn't SOUND like a step'. Could it be '#2 doesn't LOOK like a step'?
Jon Snow, I'm actually learning how to find and correct mistakes, so interaction with you is really useful.
3. Let's agree to disagree. :)
"Another exit" – Russian expression. Another solution
4. I don't remember "undone" being used like that.
P.S. Oh, yes. I usually think about the sound. How it sounds if you talk like that or read aloud, you know. :) It was about my perception.
You can publish
your goal here
We can help you achieve it!
310 000
like-minded
tools
for an exciting achievement
